Achter-over Vis
(Salted Herring)
Ingredients:
One small row boat
One tonnetje (or a smallish barrel, if tonnetje not available)
One fish net
153 lbs Rock salt
Method:
Place tonnetje in row boat
Put bags of rock salt in boat
Starting from somewhere in Holland, row into the North sea.
Stop rowing when approximately half way to England.
Wait until the waves settle down from all your rowing.
Throw fish net.
Haul in fish net. Swear generously in Dutch, and throw net again. Haul in fish net.
Pull herring from net and throw gently on the floor of the boat. Repeat till you have 124 herring.
Using precise, practiced movements, violently hack the heads off and pull the guts out of each fish. Leave scales on.
Now mercifully kill the fish.
Place the tonnetje in the exact geometric center of the row boat. Say a short Saxon prayer in a low, husky voice, while facing West and ringing your nose with the thumb and forefinger of your right hand.
Open the salt bags.
Put a layer of salt in the bottom of the tonnetje.
Now put a layer of herring in the tonnetje.
Put down another layer of salt.
Put down another layer of herring.
Put down another layer of salt.
Put down another layer of herring.
Put down another layer of salt.
Put down another layer of herring.
Repeat this process untill you run out of herring and/or/maybe salt. Quickly put the top on the tonnetje.
Sit on the tonnetje. (This will ensure that the herring can't escape on the long trip back to port.)
Row back.
Serves three, two if they're hungry...
